As a parent of a type 1 sugar baby, you must know the communication skills

The confusion of adolescent sugar lovers

In 2021, my 11-year-old son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, which is doubly challenging for him and me as we enter adolescence. In addition to accepting the fact of type 1 diabetes, he also needs to control his blood sugar, and more importantly, accompany him through adolescence accompanied by diabetes.

When my son was playing basketball, he didn’t want his insulin pump to be exposed. When he went out to eat with his classmates, he would find the restroom or other deserted places to get his injections. Once his classmates asked him to eat sweets, and he came back extremely angry and felt like he was being laughed at. He will occasionally wonder, "Am I different from others?"

"Why did I get this disease?" Whenever my son asked me, I felt particularly uncomfortable and self-blame, because all along, in my communication with my son, the attitude I conveyed was: Since it happened, then Just deal with it. This is a very accidental event, and no one can explain why it happened to us. What it means to us is to make our lives healthier, and it must be admitted that it is "somewhat troublesome". It is not caused by any mistakes on our part. Although I enlighten my son in this way, my son is still particularly concerned about having diabetes.

I remember that not long after he was discharged from the hospital, my son was particularly obsessed with model cars and rarely went out on weekends, so I often took him to psychological training camps.

That day, when the teacher asked everyone about their impression of himself, he talked about a lot of his advantages, and then whispered to the teacher, "I'm sick." He quickly returned to his seat. After class, the teacher talked to him about being sick. . The teacher talked about her "illness". Her lumbar spondylosis often made her faint without knowing what was going on. Because of this, she was rejected by her first boyfriend's family and was unable to continue dating. However, she is not too trapped in this matter. She should study and have fun. Now she is very satisfied with her family and work.

When the son heard about the teacher's experience, he was very surprised because he was very familiar with the teacher and knew that she was a colleague of his mother. He had no idea that she had such a "disease". I believe he must have felt the strength from my colleague at that time.

Later, there were more situations where my son was "unwilling" to accept, and I began to reflect on it. For my son, this was indeed something difficult to face, at least at that moment. I think about myself. When I was in adolescence, the most distressing thing was that I was short. I would wear high heels no matter how tired I was. I would also avoid walking with tall classmates. If someone said that I was short, I would probably hold a grudge for the rest of my life. .

It was probably when I was in college that I no longer worried about my height. I felt that I wasn’t that short, just not that tall. I have cared about such a common characteristic for so many years, so why do I ask my son to accept his diabetes immediately?

I know that my son is slowly accepting it. It takes time to adapt, and the time it takes will be different for everyone. Therefore, what I have to do is to accompany him, accept him, and get better and better with him.

Diabetes tips for parents

There is a licensed psychological counselor in Hefei who is also the mother of a type 1 sugar baby. She knows that being the parent of an adolescent sugar baby is a very difficult and frustrating job, and it is important to provide appropriate care. Therefore, she summarized the "Diabetes Code for Parents". In addition to companionship and acceptance, parents can also use other new concepts and perspectives to face diabetes with their children.

Don't scare your child with diabetes statistics. You have told your child countless times that high blood sugar will harm his body. He can feel your fear. If you always talk about complications, it will only make him want to talk to you. Go against it.

When your child has high blood sugar, don't blame and complain first. Sometimes the high blood sugar is really not his fault. Even if you are doing everything well, your blood sugar readings will sometimes become inexplicable. Instead of asking "Why is your blood sugar so high?" or "What good things have you done?" think about what you can do with your child.

Focus on your child's strengths Managing diabetes can be a really difficult task. He may not be perfect, but he is working hard every day to stay alive. It would be great if he could give him some encouragement.

Let him go and let him face diabetes alone. He needs to try more to manage his blood sugar on his own. He doesn’t want to be nagged by you all the time about what he should and shouldn’t do. When you believe that he can handle it on his own, he knows that he can still ask for help. When you ask for help, you can solve any problem together.

Try to understand diabetes from his perspective. If you don't have diabetes, you can't relate to what he's going through. Diabetes is unfair and inconvenient. It adds a lot of things and is super annoying. When he needs to vent his emotions or complain, just listen and be there for him.

Don't tell everyone about his diabetes, especially if you're meeting him for the first time. He wanted to be like everyone else and didn't want to stand out. Not everyone needs to know. Leave this opportunity to himself, and when he feels ready to tell others, he will.

Don’t strive for perfection. Although I understand that you may be anxious, no one can control blood sugar perfectly.

Don't limit his activities because of diabetes; he doesn't want others to think he's squeamish. Playing sports, spending the night at a friend's house, traveling, and having parties are all things he can do safely. Help him find ways to make them feasible together.

Don’t be the food police: He may eat foods that you think are inappropriate (sometimes not wise), and if you try to control him, he will eat them secretly.